Christmas blackmail

Ah...Christmas! Lights, gifts, cheer, festivities, family and friends, and...blackmail. You know you've done it (if you're a parent, uncle, aunt).

Ava: As we're walking through the new "mall" at Ramstein: I want candy!
Me: No, Ava.
Ava: I want candy!!
Me: In warning tone: Ava, do you want Santa Claus to come and bring you presents?
Ava: YEAH, YEAH, PRESENTS!!!!!!!
Me: Then you better be good or Santa Claus won't come and bring you presents.

Ah...Christmas blackmail. May it be joyous while it lasts.

Children

Last night was Halloween, and as is our tradition, we brought Aiden's little German friend, Devin, with us. That, and the fact that I was surrounded by swarms of German and American kids last night, got me reflecting on the differences between German and American kids. Yes, they are quite different in some ways. Disclaimer: neither group of kids is better or worse than the other, but the differences in the children are so striking to me that I feel compelled to explore them.

First thing you'll notice is that German kids call adults by their first name--a shocking and disrespectful thing to many Americans. At the very least, we expect to be called Miss Andrea or Uncle so-and-so. This is something I've gotten used to since my son has started bringing his German friends around and I've been called aunDRAYuh by all his friends. But I still notice it each time because I am so used to my students calling me Miss R.

The other thing you'll notice is the confidence these little 5 year-olds exude. American children, when they encounter an unfamiliar adult are usually reserved and cautious. Not so for a German child. Take Aiden's birthday party, for instance. It was the first time that many of Aiden's friends had met me, and yet...They were appalled that I did not provide ice cream to go with the cupcakes that I'd painstakingly baked and decorated. They kept asking where it was. At one point, one of the children took it upon himself to "help" me by going over and checking out the price of the Sternenland-provided ice cream, stating, "It's only .41 cents." So, I finally took the hint and the kids got their ice cream.

Here's another funny, but typical, contrast. We're standing in line for movie tickets. There are some kids running around the lobby, screaming. They're German. The American parents in line are glaring at the German parents, who are oblivious because this is just what children do, right? Yes, German kids are allowed to run more freely than our American children.

Again, these are stereotypical examples. Not all American children are reserved and respectful, while not all German kids are audacious and confident. These are just general observations I've made over the years and have found that other American friends tend to notice these things, too. One set of kids is not better or worse than the other. As a matter of fact, what may be unusual or disconcerting for one group of adults is normal to the other. And my perspective is the American one...I've not been brave enough to ask a German adult what they think about American kids. It's very interesting how different people can be from the very start, and I think these differences are significant in how we end up as adults viewing and interacting with the world. But in the end, once we're all adults and you strip away the varying viewpoints stemming from very different life experiences, we're all just people who are curious about each other in the end.

Local

Wow. Went to a dance show last night at the gemeindehaus (community center) down the street with two other Reichenbachers and good friends. There were people there competing and watching the dance troupes from several villages around here. Some of the dances were just okay, but others were quite impressive and dramatic, so it was fun to watch. I could've done without the obligatory and cheesy whole-group fest song which required my participation. But that's a German-style party for you! Anyway, I was impressed with the all-around good humor that accompanied the event. Though it could've easily gotten quite competitive (Reichenbach vs. Heimbach or everyone), it didn't because everyone cheered for each dance troupe equally. Even the groups that were mediocre got hoots and whistles, which I found to be very generous of the audience. Everyone was in such a good mood that it was hard to be worried about the fact that I was out waaaaaaaaaaay past my bedtime (it ended at midnight). One of the last dances of the night was a duo of young girls who demonstrated to me just how horrible I was at belly-dancing. My friends and I were laughing about how we'd taken belly dancing classes together and were not that good (hoefte! HOEFTE!!!), sharing inside jokes. So, I felt like I had a place there, but still...

I had another one of those "out of the box" experiences I sometimes have over here. I knew a lot of Reichenbachers there from various places (Aiden's kindergarten teachers, my nanny and her group of girlfriends, the tree cutter, etc.). Everyone always seems very pleased to see me, the American, enjoying the local events. But I sense that people are still very curious about us, as the Americans living in the town, because I notice people watching me.

I assume they're watching to gauge my reaction and see if I'm following what is going on. Or, they're waiting for me to commit some sort of faux pas. I frequently catch them whispering to their companions with their eyes in our direction. I don't sense mean-spiritedness at all. As a matter of fact, the exact opposite. I feel like a minor celebrity when we join "the masses" in our town. But after living here now for 6 years, I'd expect our novelty to have worn off by now!

I guess there really is limited excitement in a small farm town. So, if I want to just be low-key and observe, I really can't do that here. So, with that, and the long history of relationships that I know little about amongst the Reichenbachers that have lived here for generations, I do remain "outside the box" still. But I can put my foot in and shake it all about when I want to.

Innocence lost...and found!

Just got back from a frigid hour at the spielplatz. Aiden, Ava, and I walked down there since it's a sunny day and what luck! We ran into Aiden's favorite girl, Angelina. I personally think he loves her and that he will remember her as his first girlfriend like I reflect back on the boy who I loved in kindergarten. I don't remember his name, but I do remember vividly grabbing his hand on the way to school and him whining, "Aw, do I have to?" Of course the answer was yes. And he listened! I wonder whatever happened to that boy...Anyway!

So, Aiden and Angelina are running around and playing together while Ava digs in the sand. At one point, Aiden asked me to help them get the zipline within their reach and so I did and I stood there watching them get situated. Aiden gentlemanly gave the thing to Angelina to ride first, but then I heard him ask, "Moerchtet du doppleganger machen?" Or loosely translated, "Do you want to go doubles?" She nodded her assent and Aiden jumped on the seat, straddling her. Now did I mention that there were a bunch of teens hanging out at the park, too? (it's a farm-town and not many places to chill...) So of course, I expect to hear snickering at the fact that these two are riding together like this. But no, to my surprise I seemed to be the only one thinking this is a little naughty :) And further demonstrating my lack of innocence, two of the teen boys then jump on together! It was all totally--innocent--but I know if I'd been at my American school playground and two kids straddled each other on the swings or zipline or whatever, there'd be razzing for sure!

So I guess you could say I've definitely lost my innocence, but that for a moment I found it again. I was truly touched to see that, yes, even in this world where stories about kids killing other kids are on the news every day now, there are still those that haven't yet lost their innocence. There is still sweetness. There is still just play for the fun of playing. There is still purity in this world. The challenge is holding on to it for as long as possible...

Who'd have thought?

I've come to believe that some of the most spoiled people in the world whine the loudest. I came home today with this on my mind and thought about how little we have to really whine about. In the spirit of not becoming one of those people, I've decided to document some of the cool things that have come about in my life as unexpected surprises, and which yes, I often take for granted.

1. I remember sitting in French class one day in high school and thinking to myself, "Too bad I'll never get to use this in France--that would be cool." Funny, but it wasn't even an option in my mind at that time that I could travel overseas. And here I am. Living 45 minutes from France and popping over there for dinner once in a while.
2. So I would've never imagined that I would have visited 12 countries (and counting) by 32.
3. And I certainly wouldn't have dreamed that I would OWN a house in a foreign country.
4. I would not have guessed that I would've found in myself something of a leader. It actually still surprises me now.
5. I would be ecstatic to learn that I have MUCH more self-confidence and self-esteem than when I was a teen (ugh.)
6. I would not know how to feel about me driving a minivan. My 32 year-old self can reassure the teen in me that, no, it's not really cool, but it is a rockin' van.
7. I would be fascinated to learn that I have two (and that's it) kids and that they have a nanny who has come to mean so much to me that I hyperventilate at the thought of separating from her and her family.
8. I have learned that friends can be your family.
9. I would perhaps be nervous in seeing that what you've always known is not the absolute truth oftentimes, and that I now consider myself a person who questions more.
10. I have learned that there's nothing in this world that brings me more happiness than my husband and two amazingly unique and awesome kids.

Creature of habit

Ugh. Why oh why do I get stuck clicking on the same 5 websites that I always visit? There's an entire world online to explore and yet I am hesitant to step out there, click something new, or even old. Visit a site I've been to before, found cool, and then promptly forgot because there is just too much to remember in a single day. I even find myself routing myself into setting-based patterns. I only view certain websites at work, certain at home, one or two anywhere else. I know there are other "places" out there, but really, I'm just too lazy to find them, explore them, and add them to my little online world. Is this the weirdest blog ever? But it's really an issue that I have with myself.

Eh.

So we went to church this foggy, cold, autumn Sunday and planned to try out our new Macaroni Grill in the new Ramstein "mall" afterwards. Honestly, my favorite part of Sundays where we actually go to church is eating lunch out as a family. So I was excited and planning to do a little shopping after eating. Anyway, so it was a good message at church on healthy families--check. Moving over to Macaroni Grill and, miracle of miracles, we walked in and got seated immediately! I think Aiden enjoyed his mondo-giant mac and cheese shells, but Ava ate like three. I ate about a third of my chicken alfredo because--well, it was good, but I don't need to eat from a trough to be satiated. And Rad's chianti steak was dry. So. There you go. Huh.

Moving on to the "mall" (always in parentheses because it's really just an oversized BX/PX/Powerzone/Shoppette with the same old vendors you typically see outside any BX/PX, but it does have an actual movie theater with a concession stand and a food court with several options, so...) We were just deflated by the task of going from one end to the other to locate what we were looking for. Ended up getting something exciting from Origins, which I've wished the BX would carry forever, so that's cool. But of course, no suit for Aiden to be the ring bearer in Reg's wedding (so that will be a mad-dash once we get to VA) and I wasn't in the mood to check out the Victoria's Secret stuff cuz I'm feeling fat, so. We headed home. And now I'm blogging about my so-so trip to Ramstein today :P Yep, I'm actually bored, I'd say!

Carnival

Okay, so I've already put this story up on Facebook--the abbreviated version--but I haven't laughed so hard in a while, so it's worth blogging it...Funny how a moment of your own sheer stupidity can tickle you (well, that is if you're one of the fortunate people in this world who are able to laugh at themselves!)

So Friday night was the Fall Carnival at my school and I decided to take the kids. First, we drove past the tennis courts where Daddy was to see if he wanted to tag along, as his tennis practice was just ending. He did, and followed us to the school. We ended up parking a space apart with a red BMW between us and cars filling every other available space. We went in and enjoyed ourselves spending ridiculous amounts of money on tickets for the fun and "hot candy", as Ava calls cotton candy (her most momentous discovery at Disneyland this summer). After an hour, the kids were done and we decided to leave. Commence the dramedy.

We get out to the parking lot and discover that some fool has blocked Rad's Element in by parking their silver VW behind him. Let me describe at this time the layout of the parking lot. So the parking spaces are lined up along the front of the school building, with about 10 feet of concrete between the actual parking spaces and the building. Directly to the right and in front of my van, a metal fence begins and there is space between the building and rest of the spaces to my right. Rad's on my left. So my bright idea is for him to pull forward and go to the right through the parking space that I will vacate. He has to clear the space as he turns into my spot between the BMW and the metal fence. Rad thinks this is possible, so I begin to pull out, get out to guide his wide Element around the red BMW and between the metal fence as he turns into my parking space. Skipping over my inept guidance--cut to the side of Rad's Element literally less than an inch from the Beamer's front bumper and me shouting "STOP!" We decided to cut our losses and admit we were stuck when we were both too scared to try and back him out of his position. It just looked like the side step on his Element was going to scrape the BMW's bumper no matter what we did.

So I ran inside to see if we could find the BMW's owner in the carnival. One of the PTO moms kindly used the bullhorn to go around and see if anyone claimed the car. NO ONE did. Huh? Okay, now I'm scared that the owner could be living in one of the buildings in the neighborhood and just parked there but is not at the carnival. So...now what? Now, just moving the silver car out of our way is moot. The red car has to move so we can!

While we're standing here for, oh...about 45 minutes, people are walking to and from the carnival and catching sight of our predicament. Some actually gasp and crane their necks to see what damage we've caused because it seriously looked like we were right on top of the Beamer. I kept shouting "We didn't hit it!" and getting more and more embarrassed as I realized how dumb we were to get stuck like this.

Then, the heavens part and I see my friend walking from the building across the street with her husband. I shout to ask her if she knows anyone living there with this red BMW. They don't, but they come over to assess the situation. Her husband, an army soldier just returned from Iraq, states with confident ease that he can easily guide Radley out of his predicament. All three of us balk. But he basically begs us to trust him, and I think this is where Radley's male bravado came in and he agreed to let the guy try. My friend explained that her husband does this all the time for his Army job, but with big tanks and such, trying to calm me. So, with me clutching Ava and going, "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh...!!" he backed Radley away from the Beamer like nothing--in seconds. In another minute, Radley was turned around and back where he originally started--blocked in by the VW. At this point, we're both so relieved to be away from the BMW, that we are going to give up and just leave and come back later when the VW's gone. But no. My friend's husband again says, "Please! I can get you out of here EASILY!" Male bravado shows up again and then the guy proceeds to guide Radley forward out of the parking spot, turns him around, through the parking space and two cars and with less than an inch on either side of the Element for wiggle room, guides him diagonally out of the space and in front of the offending VW--SAFELY OUT OF THE PARKING LOT!!!!! I cheered as I let out my breath and gave my hero a high-five! Radley got out and asked to shake the man's hand. And after much profuse thanks, we got in our vehicles and drove home. I laughed the whole way at our ineptitude and the ease with which we were rescued :) Now, that's what military training is all about!

ABC's

So we've done it--we've committed. I can't say that it's without reservations on my part, but we're doing it. Aiden could've started American Kindergarten this fall, but we've chosen to keep him in the German school system, so he remains at his German kindergarten until grundschule, or 1st grade, starts next year. We attended our first parent's night at the kindergarten two nights ago. We took our places within the circle of tiny chairs set up in a circle formation inside the little gym and worked our brains into overdrive trying to follow the teachers' spiels (which, ironically, is not a German word as is. I just looked it up.) on their learning philosophies. But the main thing I wanted to clarify is do they teach any beginning reading and writing skills. I knew the answer was no, but I was hoping for a little...change, I guess? Yeah...The kids are expected to know how to count to 10 and write their names by the time they leave. Now, keep in mind, these kids start first grade the same time ours do (but they go to school 13 years instead of 12--so they just start later, really). At the elementary school I work at, Kindergarteners are reading books and writing quasi-sentences if not all-out stories by the time they finish. And being the anxious person I am, that comparison sends me into a quiet panic. I know I should relax and let it go because really, many of our American Kindergarteners are just not ready at the tender age of 5 for all that's thrown at them, so they either repeat kindergarten or they go on and struggle...I see it all the time. The thing is...Aiden is ready! He so wants to learn to write words. He is right now writing random strings of letters to see if he can happen upon one. He brings me his writing and demands, "What does that say?"
"Uh...MFOAGBI."
"What's that?"
"Not a real word, sorry, man."
"Awwww...But why?!?!"
"Because you have to put the letters in the right order to make a word. Like 'cat' is always spelled C first, A next, T last." (He can write that one)

Anyway, I'm working with him to teach him to read and write against the teacher's recommendations :P I can't NOT teach him. It sooooooooooooooo goes against everything "American Educator" in me. What, I'll be teaching other peoples' kids to read and write but not mine? No. Besides, how they learn to read and write will be in German and that's different from the English way, so I'm just doing my job in teaching him his English. And Rad's a math teacher by training, so that's his area. So his teachers are just going to have to deal with the over-achiever American kid who, yes, may be a touch bored at times in 1st grade, but somehow I doubt it.

Now for how to spell I-N-S-U-B-O-R-D-I-N-A-T-E.

Summer Vacation

So summer vacation is almost over...I have mixed feelings about this as it means I will be returning to the grind and I can't just chill with the kids all day. But I'm also looking forward to being on a regular, "normal" schedule. Teachers will tell you that children crave dependability, routine, and schedules. Well, I've realized that I do, too! I'm happiest and most relaxed when I know what to expect out of my day--when I can plan. The first couple days we were back in our own house, the kids were ecstatic, playing with their toys, spending time tearing up their rooms and seeing their friends. And so was I! It illustrated just how much we love it here, that after visiting with loved ones "back home", partying it up in Disney, frolicking on the beach, and soaking in the mall...Well, this is still where our hearts are. Not even the impending start of the dreaded W-word can keep me away :)

Aaaah...

Back home after a 2 month crazation in the States. Spent time in WA, WI, VA, CA and various airports--ha ha! We had our first family vacation at Disneyland in Cali, and we had such a wonderful time that I'm sure it's the first of many :) I'll resume blogging here once I get my feet back under me! But in the meantime, oh yes, it's good to be home!

Mother's joy

Okay, I saw a sad news story today about this 10-month old girl who is a medical mystery because she is shrinking within her own skin. Things like this make me feel extremely grateful and--frankly--lucky that my children are healthy, happy, and safe. I'm no one special that I should've been so blessed and this other mother so burdened with sorrow. I take this state of well-being for granted much of the time amidst the daily grind of life. Aiden is reflective of the emotional, frustrated, pissed-off side of me at times. While Ava is the little "B" in me come to life. At times, like these when my children are irrational, selfish, and spoiled, I think What have we done? What have we created?!?!? But these moments are nothing, insignificant, when I think of little girls like the one on the news. My frustrations and fears become insignificant in light of the realization that what we have going on here in our little family is just about as close to perfect as we could wish. You never know what can happen in life, so I do ocassionally remind myself to love it now, as it is. That's my mother's day gift to myself.

Whine

So have you seen that mom? The frazzled mom dragging a whiny toddler around the store--clearly weighing the equally unpleasant choices between dropping all her hastily selected items and making an immediate exit, or ignoring the whinings of her child that have every minute gotten louder and more persistent and embarassing so that she can complete her purchase? Yeah, that's me right now. Well, when I'm out with Ava (Aiden's an angel comparatively right now). It's gotten to the point where I suspect that Ava just whines for the sake of whining. Like it's a habit. When I try to ascertain what it is that will stop the god-forsaken noise ringing in my head, the exchange usually goes like this:
Me: You want wa-wa?
Ava: Yeah. No.
Me: No wa-wa?
Ava: No wa-wa.
Me: Are you hungry?
Ava: Yeah. Noooooooooooo!!!!!!
Me: You want to go nigh-night?
Ava: NOOOOOO!!! No nigh-night!
Me: You want pretzels?
Ava: Yeah. No pretzels!
Me: Shush...
Ava: Stop it!

Yes, this is Ava's current favorite phrase. Accompanied with a smack on the arm nearest her. I am so frustrated with her. At this point, we've decided that when she hits she needs to have a sort of time out, which for her is basically being put down and not paid attention to for a moment. That frustrates her and escalates the whining to a full-out tantrum, but it stops the hitting. Then, she's calmer when we pick her back up to continue the interrogation and we usually can figure out some compromise between us. At any rate, I've figured through this process that she doesn't really know what she wants and is whining for the sake of whining...a form of expression if you will.

Today, at the Mexican restaurant she was doing it again but this time I knew it was because she wanted to pour the sugar into her cup of water and I wouldn't let her. So when I dared to put the sugar out of her reach, she regarded me with a half eye-roll and half closed-lid I know you didn't look--completely silent. It was as threatening a look one could get from a soon-to-be two-year old. My friends saw it and busted out laughing because it was so teenagerish they couldn't believe it. Radley and I asked for the check immediately, but it was too late. The entire restaurant was privy to the drama at our table within seconds and we were instantly the parents of the out-of-control toddler. See ya! Until 2011!!!

Soccer

So we went to Aiden's first soccer game of the season today. Yeah...Aiden and his two friends got the coach a bit frustrated. So it was a cold, rainy day and as usual, Aiden was not that into getting the ball or making a goal. He and two other similarly disinterested friends proceded to chase each other in circles and whatnot...on the field, as the game was being sadly lost while about two dedicated boys tried to regain the ball and make a goal. I was somewhere between mortified and like, "Well, boys will be boys." I do think that Aiden needs to learn the value of working on and for a team. In this aspect, he has not learned enough yet. However, he is having fun...

As I said, it was rainy, and at one point, Aiden ran over to us and requested an umbrella to take with him back to the field...

On another note, since the game was played at our "home" team's town (Frauenberg), we soccer moms were expected to bake goods to sell. I decided I was going to go All-American and give those Germans something new to try. I made rice crispy treats. A truly foreign affair for any other than Americans. Radley overheard some of Aiden's teammates asking him what they were and his explanation centered around the marshmallows, so the boys responded, "Oh...Marshmallows..." In all, I think three people may have been brave enough to pay the 50 euro-cents for one. HA HA! Oh well, more for us, as Radley pointed out!

Bats!

Every spring and summer evening around 9:00, my bats come out. Tonight, I spotted them for the first time and ran to the window all excited to welcome them out of hibernation. It's weird, I know. I almost think of them as my pets. They're so cool and they eat the bugs--especially the mosquitos that eat my Aiden--so they're cool with me. And, it's a sign that spring is definitely here! Tonight, the two (or three or eight--hard to tell when they flit around so fast!) eating their first buggy meal of the year appeared to be fighting and I found myself chastizing them not to argue, as there is surely enough bugs to go around. This might be a sign of craziness? Anyway, I'm sure they'll work it out. And now, I get to watch my nightly display of death-defying jerky flights around the backyard. They come right up to the window, on what appears a repetitious convoluted, diving pattern around the yard. It's really amazing to watch when you realize they can't see jack squat and that they're using sonar to figure that the windows about to smash into their furry faces so they can make a sudden twist and dive for a bug at the same time.

There are two things that concern me a bit. First is, where do they live? Like, where's the bat cave? It certainly must be nearby...And second, I hope they use their sonar for avoiding objects realiably in case I'm out late one night chilling with the friends on the back patio. I'd hate to have one of my furry friends tangled up in my hair. I might not be so enthused about them after that.

9 Lives

Uh...The black cat is not dead. It was an imposter! Repeat. The black cat is NOT DEAD!!!!

I was getting Ava out of the van today and was turning around to go into the house, and lo and behold...A little black head was peeking around the corner. I just stared at it for a second thinking, "I must be more distraught about this than I thought." He came bounding over just like he was never dead! I actually got down and started cooing at him and scratched him a bit, I was so happy to see him alive again! (I'm normally reserved around him after receiving ringworm from a stray I'd taken to in college).

So yes, cats do apparently have 9 lives! Sorry for the false alarm, y'all! HA HA!!!

Also...

Black cat is still lying dead on the side of the road. Aiden is very observant. It's only a matter of short time before he sees him. I'm holding my breath...

Invaders

I barely remember the times when I could reliably slip into a warm bubble bath with a Glamour and have a Calgon moment for an hour or so. I know it once existed for me, but it's hazy. Because my current reality--as it has been for the past 5 years--goes like so:
[me in a conspiratorial whisper]: Radley, I'm going to take a bath.
[I hold my breath as I tiptoe up the stairs...]
[I turn on the water.] MAMA?!?!?!?!? BAF?!?!?!?
[Me]: ARRRGH!
[little steps on the stairs]: clomp, clomp, clomp...MAMA?!?!?!?
[little steps entering the bathroom]: MAMA!!!!!! BAF!!!!!!!
[little one proceeds to try to strip--requires my assistance--I grudgingly oblige since I know my other option is listening to a fit, which will effectively ruin my bath anyway.]

As I lift my little one into the bath with me and she proceeds to dive into my sacred "bath things", I grit my teeth and think, "Well, nice try, Andrea." Until the little one smiles at me and laughs, "Mommy. Hair." Oh, it's time to wash her hair. "You wanna use Mommy's shampoo?"
"Yeah!" And then, I relax realizing my subterfuge was futile and useless from the start. It's a bonding moment--not such an invasion after all. It's just what it is.

Life and Death

Aiden's B-Day We have to reserve soon. Plus Black Cat is dead saw it on the road ran over.

This was the subject line in the email I got from Rad at work the other day. I'd already known the cat was dead as I'd passed the van over it on the way to kindergarten, realizing with horror as it went under that it wasn't a piece of black tire or trash in the middle of the road. It was "my friend".

The black cat is Aiden's "friend". He has no idea he's dead. And today as he played outside with his watergun (under strict orders to ONLY spray plants) he said to me with a gleeful look, "When I see my friend the cat I'm gonna spray him!" I just smiled and hoped that he would soon forget about our little adopted stray. He adopted us, really. He always knew when we were outside playing or having a cookout. Sometimes, we'd be sitting around inside on a cold, rainy or snowy day, and his little black head would pop up in the window, meowing and rubbing against the glass for us to come out. Or for us to let him in. He was sneaky. I don't know how many times we found that cat inside the house, not knowing how he'd gotten in or when. We didn't even feed him or anything. He really just seemed to genuinely enjoy our company. It was sweet :) I was really sad when I realized that he was lying sad and dead there on the road. How sad Aiden would be and I'm just not ready to deal with that kind of life lesson right before his birthday. We'll just pretend that he decided to go off on an adventure and see new places--Reichenbach is quite a sleepy little town anyway. Here's to My Friend and his new adventure...Thanks for the company and for adopting Aiden, becoming a good friend.

Guilt Complex

Is it that I'm a woman, a mother, or just compulsivity that I tend to feel guilty about things I shouldn't? Probably all of the above. Anyway, I have been invited to go this Saturday on a traveling bridal shower for a friend at work. It'll take all Saturday cuz we will catch the train in one town and ride it to Speyer (of the famed cathedral--a place and cathedral I've wanted to visit since high school AP Art History days...Holla, Beth!) So it'd be fun; a bunch of us girls wandering around, eating, drinking wine (surely), shopping, and chatting. A total girl-day. But I feel guilty because Radley would be taking the kids by himself to a BBQ we've been invited to that same day. Which would be fine for him. He always reports that his single-dad days are "easy, fine" (much to my infuriation...Is it too much for him to say, "Aw, it sucked! I don't know how you do it when I'm gone all the time! You're awesome--the best wife and mother ever!") Anyway, ugh. What is with this guilt?!?!

Spring Fever

It's been sunny and warm two days in a row now!! "Warm" meaning upper 40's/low 50's. I went running out on the farm roads yesterday for the first time since I last blogged about it and it was great. I actually missed the aroma of manure--ha ha!! Anyway, I'm so sore. But it's worth it. I've got spring fever from this weather and started trying on some skirts and capris (since I have no shorts yet) and was thrilled to find that my pre-Ava ones fit! That's the kind of motivation I need to keep the running up despite the pain :)

Today, we popped over to the Toone's place to wish Jimmy a safe trip back to the desert now that his R&R is over. We're planning on uncorking some Dom and a lamb dinner (grilled by Chef Jimmy, of course) when he gets back for good and we're looking forward to that! Jimmy is the only person who can cook lamb the way I will enjoy it. It's always good food and good friends at the Toone's place!

Now, we're getting ready to head over to the Reichenbacher Sportzplatz for some schnitzel and more good friends' company with Hans and Natti! It's been the kind of weekend that makes me also feel like spring is in the air--hanging with friends, grilling, eating, fresh air, and squeezing in a good run or two. Perfect!

Corn-y

Last night in the car I said to Radley, "Man, that corn on my toe really hurts!" and Aiden piped in from the back seat, "Mommy, why you got corn on your toes?????"

Poor Aiden puked at Aunt Jill's tonight. His kindergarten had been shut down a little over a week ago to be disinfected because so many people have been sick. I knew it was just sitting in his little body, incubating...Argh! He got in the car to go home after being sick in the bathroom and growled, "I hate throwing up! Throwing up is stupid!" Yes, baby, it is.

Earlier in the night, Ava was looking out the open window in Jill's dining room and looked down, commented on something forgetting that her nuk was in her mouth and it fell down, down two stories to the grass below. She was all concerned and Aunt Jill suggested that she tell Uncle Ryan to go get it for her and Ava didn't hestitate, yelling, "Wyaaaaaaan!" Hysterical!

In love with a teenage vampire

I just spent the last two weeks of my life obsessed with the impossible and tragic love story of a teen vampire. It all started with Facebook and the constant and passionate mentions of Twilight. My curiousity was piqued, but I was still sane and scoffed at the premise of a girl and vampire falling in love and fighting against all odds to be together...Forever...PUHLEEZE!!!

Then, Radley brought the book home from the library because, though we had never talked about this strange phenomenon occuring amongst the Facebook youth, he too was wondering what all the fuss was about. He just overcame any shame a grown adult would be facing in checking out the book (well, not really--he can check it out to himself from the school library and remain incognito). Anyway, the book sat around for awhile. But eventually, I decided that I would just find out what all the hype was over and read it--at least the first few pages before I got so irritated or embarassed of what I was reading that I tossed it aside...

Now I'm only slightly chagrined to admit this: I read the entire 4-book saga (each one, comparable to the thickness of a Harry Potter novel) with white-knuckled intensity. I rushed through each day so that I could get to the part of the evening where the kids were in bed and I could settle in to read for at least 4 more hours. I literally had to force myself to put the book down at midnight or 1 am. Radley would come up to the room, see my enraptured expressions and chuckle. I didn't care. Let him poke fun! It was the most fun I've had reading in--ever! Even when I was just starting a book, I was already sad knowing it was going to have to end. Anyway, Radley did eventually read the first book when I would let it go, and even he admitted the writing was intense (though he thought the story was "stupid"--Whatever!) So, I was trying to drag out the last book in the saga (though I really couldn't) and was just dreading the idea of the story being over for me. And now, it is. And I'm sad that that experience is over. It was a great escape from the stress I've been immersed in lately. But at least the ending was satisfying and I did feel a sense of closure. So I can move on. With bittersweet memories of my Twilight experience. And if you're laughing at me and/or rolling your eyes at my love of the teenage vampire love story...I dare you to read it and resist the transformation from rational, sensible grown-up to giddy, guilible teenager falling in love with a teenage vampire...

Europe livin'

So when I first moved to Germany, never a day went by that I didn't think in awe to myself, "Wow, I'm living in Europe!" For the first few years. Little things, the half-timber houses, the groups of people volksmarching, the view of a little village in the distance, the street cafes...all tickled me. The more significant differences, like the slower pace of life, the appreciation for family and leisure reflected in the everyday workings of the society, the great work situations we appreciated, made me feel grateful. Though living in Europe has changed my views, beliefs, and perspectives irrevocably, I've slowly lost my awe. I've known it was happening for a while with a certain sadness, akin to losing your innocence. I would realize whenever we had a visitor--especially first-timers--that I recognized their awe and amazement at all the little things that I had begun to take for granted. And I would feel it renewed, but in a more reserved way...

Last night, I went to a small reunion dinner with some old friends at a gasthaus I'd never been to before. It was a crooked half-timber house, with the restaurant on the 3rd tiny floor, run by an old man with his granddaughter as the only server. We had a delicious traditional meal. After a couple hours, a visiting American group that had come after us and was now leaving, commented on how long we were lingering. We explained that that's just how you eat out here; your table is yours for the night and you relax and drink and conversate for hours. They didn't appear convinced. Anyway, when we were finally leaving, the gray-haired owner overheard us commenting on wine and he simply said, "wine cellar" and beckoned for us to follow. He led us down to an amazing collection of premium wines and proudly boasted about the amazing collection he had. He invited us to come back anytime and we could first select the wine we'd like to drink from his cellar before we ate again. He explained that his building was built in 1390 and still retained most of the original wood beams. We talked to him and got to know him and his place and as we were chatting, one of our group leaned in and said, "This would never happen in the States." And I got that thrill I used to get, knowing this was true, and I was so lucky to experience this night on a regular ol' work night 10 minutes from my home. I'm living in Europe!

I'd rather be beat

This is what Radley used to say about his parents' lectures. And I'm sure this is what my kids will be saying about me when they're grown. But I like to think of my lectures, not as lectures, but more as counsel...I counsel Radley on the benefits of being romantic (which--thanks to his ODD--always has the opposite of the desired effect), I counsel my students on the benefits of taking responsibility for using their "new" speech sounds so I can stop banging my head against the wall after doing 100 initial /r/ word drills, I counsel my kids (Okay, just Aiden, but Ava's not far behind) on why it's not a good idea to tell Mommy "no" (ending up with them landing in jail because he told a policeman "no" all because Mommy let him say "no" to her!) It's a reflex, much like when the doctor taps your knee and you kick. If he tapped my larynx, a lecture--I mean, counsel--would come out. Even as I go on and on and on, I think to myself, "Man, he's surely had enough." But there's always one more point to make, one more important life lesson to impart...And what do I get for my long-winded attempts at enlightening people? A reaction such as, "Uh, can we play now?" or "Don't you have some laundry to do?" Geez! The ingratitude!

My talker

Ava is SUCH a girl. She's not even two yet and is already putting 3 and 4 words together--always talking. Maybe it's cuz I'm used to working with children who are language delayed, but I'm so not used to her precociousness in the language department! I get SUCH a kick out of it :) Even when she's sassy. At Chili's the other day (there's one on Ramstein Air Base), Rad was trying to get her to move back to her high chair from my lap, and she said, "NO, I sit Mommy!" I swear, I have witnesses. We all just looked at each other, like whaaaat?!? She also walks around the house looking for me and asking, "Where are you? Mama! Where are yooooooouuu?" Today, before her nap, she was entertaining herself with her Elmo doll and talking. Now, when she's saying a lot or trying to sound like a mommy/grown-up, she just babbles. And that's just cute. Unfortunately, she frequently has her nuk (pacifier) in her mouth still--she's very attached to it--and tries to talk. So I tell her, "Ava, you have to take your nuk out cuz I can't understand you." And then she takes it out and restates herself. So funny!

Yowsers

Well, I hit the pavement today! I've been running on the treadmill at the gym since it's been so freezing cold and icy/snowy here. But this morning I wanted to go earlier before Rad had to coach another basketball game and the gym doesn't open until 10. Since it was decent and up to 30 degrees, I loaded on my cold-weather running gear and headed out! The whole farm road I run was treacherous with icy patches and my nose was running from the cold and exertion from running on real hills again. Don't let that treadmill fool you into thinking you're getting a real-life outdoor running experience. Those "hills" it throws in to keep your heartrate up are no match for the real thing! I was so exhausted after running today, I have been laid out and popping ibuprofen for my sore muscles already.

Well, I'll be heading back to the gym since it's supposed to snow again in the next couple days. But now I've reminded myself of how hard I normally push it, so I'll have to up the intensity on the ol' treadmill. I'm just glad I haven't totally quit running this winter like I have before. I definitely haven't been able to go as much as I'd like, but no worries...I'm still losing weight! My secret? Extreme stress and time deprivation. Don't feel like eating and don't have much time to anyway. Ugh. Things should be more chill in a couple weeks, though, so maybe I can get back into a more normal running schedule soon. And as soon as it is up to 45, I'm headed back out to nature so I can breathe in some clean (though frequently manure-scented) air and enjoy the views of the open country around me!

Long time, no blog...

So wow, it's been a while...Let me catch you up here...Since I last wrote, I wrapped up work a bit early and boarded a plane with my family to VA to spend the holidays shopping, celebrating, and chillin with family and friends. Sike! I boarded a plane with my family to VA to spend the holidays nursing myself and children through two nasty, nasty viruses in a house full of sick people, celebrating whenever we got to step foot out the front door of quarantine. Yeah. So now we're back to normal life and work. Which, I make it my priority not to blog about work for a variety of reasons, but let me just say one thing...I have never wished for summer as bad as I am right now. If you only knew...But that's enough of that.

On a lighter note, we're all healthier now! Aiden is super-excited about the new police unit happening at his kindergarten and the police coming to visit them on Friday. Yeah, from a big city and everything! So they can talk about more exciting things than busting cow-tippers. And Ava seems to be jumping straight into full conversation mode from one-word utterances. I don't know how she got to the 3-word combo stage, but she can express her sassiness in a whole new way now. Though two single words are still her faves: "No" (complete with sassy half-turn) and "MINE!" (complete with witch-like screeching). Rad has been gone at "jail". Aiden now gets the joke. Everytime I tell someone that Rad's at JLS they inevitably respond, "JAIL?" Heh...Not yet. So this year, Aiden has been entertaining himself with the idea that Daddy's in jail. JLS is Junior Leadership Seminar and he runs the program that teaches budding middle-schoolers how to be better leaders for a week up at a castle-turned-youth-hostel on the Rhein. Tough gig.

Anyhoo! It's a three-day weekend coming up and you know I'm excited! Plan to get my running shoes back on and hit the rubber! Been too icy to run outside so I'm using the gym, which is actually alright for the time-being. And that reminds me, I have hit my pre-Ava weight--YAY! However, my body is still irrevocably damaged and does not look like my pre-Ava body, let alone my pre-Aiden body. Recall the infected stretch mark. Well, there are many similar humiliations I face alone in the mirror. But yay pre-Ava weight!