Moments

My friend Beth had her first child this week and it's made me reflective. I have been thinking about all the wonderful, magical moments she has ahead of her. Yes, being a mother is certainly filled with angst and frustration causing self-doubt and serious self-reflection at times. But the beautiful, truly magical moments overpower them all. Some of my favorite Mommy moments:

• I will never forget the moment I looked my first child in the eyes seconds after he was delivered. Black, still, somehow-wise eyes. They pierced me to my core and seemed to say, "So here you are!". I was changed in that moment.
• Driving away after leaving Aiden with Bianka the first day I went to work and being...Okay.
  
• Driving away after leaving Ava with Bianka for the first time and being...okay, but a bit torn.
  
• Crying when Aiden got his first tooth.
• Crying when Aiden lost his first tooth.
  
• Realizing the first hour Ava was in this world that she was a completely different creature from her brother and recognizing that she was already telling me what to do!
• Leaving Aiden at Kindergarten his first day and having to fight the urge not to go back and hug him and take him home to stay with me forever.
• Realizing I was a better working mom than a stay-at-home mom!
• Getting excited and giddy over gifts that were NOT for me. And Christmas becoming magical again!
  
• Getting a cute attack so bad on my kids that I'm willing to literally kiss their butts. Many times.
• The desire to march over and knock down a kid that was being snotty to my son. I restrained myself.
• The joy I still feel each time one of them says, "Mommy!"
• When Ava puts her arm around my neck in a hug. I could stay like that forever.
• Realizing that Aiden is a carbon copy of his Dad for a reason. And that his running and jumping on me, which usually hurts, is a boy's version of a request for affection :)
• Being proud that Ava got my bossiness! No one will push her around.
• Being worried when I found out I was pregnant with #2 that I could NOT POSSIBLY love her as much as #1--He'd stolen my heart! Then, when #2 was born, Aiden gave back my heart so we could all share it equally. But by the time he gave it back, it was 3x bigger.
• Being shocked when glancing over and realizing that my toddler had become a kid.
• Realizing I was willing to sacrifice what made me happy to spend a few more minutes with my baby to play "mommy and Ava" (roles reversed) when she cried and begged, "No! Play with me!"
  
• Laughing out loud with my kids. There's nothing simpler.
• Realizing the magnitude of birthing, raising, and ultimately...letting go.

I'm sure I haven't covered even the majority of my favorite moments. I'll think about this topic and go, Oh yeah, but there was THAT time, too! The point is, having a child is not simply a matter of logistics, money, and deciding whether or not to go back to work. It demonstrates the power of the human connection and how one little life can alter another person completely. It's complex, not simple. Never pain-free, but then nothing in life that's worth it ever is. And it is all...worth it. So, to Beth, congratulations on changing your life for the better without even fully comprehending what you've done :)