Father's Day

So a week ago my dad asked me what was up with my blog. No new entries in a while, you can see. I told him I just hadn't been inspired to write lately. Well, while trying to think of what to send my dad for Father's Day coming up, I got an idea, which was inspired by my dad.

My dad is a good guy. He's the type of person people just like--easy-going, easy to laugh, hard working, and respectable. My dad was a quiet presence in my life. He barely ever raised his voice at my brother and I, but we loathed to disappoint him. I mainly remember him chuckling at our antics. He was the voice of reason, calm in the face of raging sibling rivalry or pre-teen angst. Solid evidence of his pervasive level-headedness is in one of my vivid memories of my dad.

Dad taught me how to drive. We sat in his prized little tan Chevy S10 pick-up while he prepped me for how to balance the transition from clutch to gas. After learning how to ease from 1st to 2nd gears in a big empty parking lot, he told me to take it out onto the road. The actual road. I balked at first, but my excitement to drive quickly pushed me to go for it. It all went pretty well at first. I don't know if it was that first trip out or a subsequent one, but at some point I had to make a left turn. I badly judged how much I needed to turn the wheel, veered into the oncoming lane, and headed straight for an oncoming car. Now, most people would correct the wheel to the right and wave a chagrined appology to the terrified other driver. I wasn't sensible. As a matter of fact, I was so panicked that I lost all sensibility whatsoever and began to maniacally laugh my head off as I frozenly continued to careen straight of the other car. My dad did yell for me to turn the wheel, but as I was frozen in some kind of freak-out laughing fit, I didn't. So he reached over and turned the wheel for me, thereby saving all of our lives. We were next to a church parking lot and he directed me to pull in there. I did and stopped the car finally. We both sat there in stunned silence a minute...Then dad said simply, "We won't tell your mother about this." Ha ha! I still laugh at that memory (while cringing, of course). But the poor man did continue to take me out and continue my badly needed driver's education.

My dad exposed me to "roughing it" on a week-long hiking and camping trip to Michigan at Picture Rock. I came back filthy and so glad to be home, but the memories I have of fishing and wading in the creek, catching my first fish (and impaling a poor guppy through the head with my hook), and singing "The Ants Go Marching In" with my Aunt Becky while hiking in the rain are still with me and are some of my favorite childhood memories.

It was my dad who taught me to ride my bike while swearing he wouldn't let go of my big ol' plastic pink bike seat--but he did! I used this same sneaky strategy while teaching Aiden to ride.

He laughed everytime I screamed at the sight of a spider and then exasperatedly got rid of it for me so I'd stop screaming.

He embarrassed me when he drove me and my brother to school in his beat-up old blue classic (Chevy Nova?). But looking back now, it was probably cool.

He kept me in line when I pushed the limits of my independence too early, standing outside in his boxers (it was dark) to take my keys after I'd stayed out too late with the car. And surely, we know he had reason to worry.

He was pretty tough at my weddign when he walked me down the aisle towards the man who would continue keeping me safe from spiders (and do most of the driving)--but he wasn't completely. But he could be confident that he'd done the best he could to keep me safe and happy and to show me the kind of person I needed to expect to have as a future husband.

I just want to say thanks to my dad for always remaining a constant in my life. I've received unconditional love and support from him and even though I'm far and am a harried wife and mother, I still think of him often. Taylor Swift wrote a song, The Best Day, that really brings back the feeling I had as a child when nothing was irreparable and everything was colored by a perfect childhood naivete: It's the age of princesses and pirate ships and the seven dwarfs, And daddy's smart and you're the prettiest lady in the whole wide world, And now I know why all the trees change in the fall, I know you were on my side even when I was wrong, And I love you for giving me your eyes, for staying back and watching me shine, And I didn't know if you knew, So I'm taking this chance to say, that I had the best day with you today...

Moments

My friend Beth had her first child this week and it's made me reflective. I have been thinking about all the wonderful, magical moments she has ahead of her. Yes, being a mother is certainly filled with angst and frustration causing self-doubt and serious self-reflection at times. But the beautiful, truly magical moments overpower them all. Some of my favorite Mommy moments:

• I will never forget the moment I looked my first child in the eyes seconds after he was delivered. Black, still, somehow-wise eyes. They pierced me to my core and seemed to say, "So here you are!". I was changed in that moment.
• Driving away after leaving Aiden with Bianka the first day I went to work and being...Okay.
  
• Driving away after leaving Ava with Bianka for the first time and being...okay, but a bit torn.
  
• Crying when Aiden got his first tooth.
• Crying when Aiden lost his first tooth.
  
• Realizing the first hour Ava was in this world that she was a completely different creature from her brother and recognizing that she was already telling me what to do!
• Leaving Aiden at Kindergarten his first day and having to fight the urge not to go back and hug him and take him home to stay with me forever.
• Realizing I was a better working mom than a stay-at-home mom!
• Getting excited and giddy over gifts that were NOT for me. And Christmas becoming magical again!
  
• Getting a cute attack so bad on my kids that I'm willing to literally kiss their butts. Many times.
• The desire to march over and knock down a kid that was being snotty to my son. I restrained myself.
• The joy I still feel each time one of them says, "Mommy!"
• When Ava puts her arm around my neck in a hug. I could stay like that forever.
• Realizing that Aiden is a carbon copy of his Dad for a reason. And that his running and jumping on me, which usually hurts, is a boy's version of a request for affection :)
• Being proud that Ava got my bossiness! No one will push her around.
• Being worried when I found out I was pregnant with #2 that I could NOT POSSIBLY love her as much as #1--He'd stolen my heart! Then, when #2 was born, Aiden gave back my heart so we could all share it equally. But by the time he gave it back, it was 3x bigger.
• Being shocked when glancing over and realizing that my toddler had become a kid.
• Realizing I was willing to sacrifice what made me happy to spend a few more minutes with my baby to play "mommy and Ava" (roles reversed) when she cried and begged, "No! Play with me!"
  
• Laughing out loud with my kids. There's nothing simpler.
• Realizing the magnitude of birthing, raising, and ultimately...letting go.

I'm sure I haven't covered even the majority of my favorite moments. I'll think about this topic and go, Oh yeah, but there was THAT time, too! The point is, having a child is not simply a matter of logistics, money, and deciding whether or not to go back to work. It demonstrates the power of the human connection and how one little life can alter another person completely. It's complex, not simple. Never pain-free, but then nothing in life that's worth it ever is. And it is all...worth it. So, to Beth, congratulations on changing your life for the better without even fully comprehending what you've done :)

Snow days

Ugh! I have never wanted spring to come more. I'm dying to get outside for a run instead of driving the slushy roads to the gym on-post to run on a treadmill like a hamster. I need some fresh, warm--even frigid, whatever--just fresh air! The only benefit of all this snowy, arctic air is the anticipation of snow days. This, for a teacher or one who works at the school, is akin to Christmas time for a six year-old. Except instead of getting presents, we get something even more valuable--extra time! Now some of us will work like gophers with our extra time to get previously shirked duties done. Others of us will laze around and chat with colleagues we have only greeted while passing in the halls (one running to the bathroom, the other leading her students in a quiet, trudging line). It's the only thing teachers can talk about when there is a hint of snow in the forecast. Before you know it, a possible dusting of snow turns into an impending blizzard. Usually, we are all let down when the rumors (and our prayers) don't come true. We grudgingly go back to school (though maybe a minute or two late just out of spite to the weather) and resume our days as planned. Sigh.

But on occasion...We get woken at 4:30 am with excited proclamations of 2 HOUR DELAYS and--dare we actually say it aloud--NO SCHOOL (for students, but okay)!!! Hence, I'm still sitting here at home sipping my coffee in my pj's :)

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year, everyone! Okay, here's why I haven't been blogging. I started out blogging about everyday life and then, I started to feel like I needed to blog about more consequential things. And well, consequential thoughts just haven't been coming my way lately what with all the full-time working mommy-ing going on here. So anyway, I'm going to just write about life. Reichenbach life, which is what this thing started off as. A diary of sorts.

So...We flew to the States over the winter break. We wouldn't have done it again after last year's "House of Quarantine" fiasco, but hey, the brother-in-law was getting married (Congrats, Reg and Marisol!) All of us were in it. I was only worried about my little flower girl's ability to perform her job. And rightfully so. At the rehearsal, she cried "Mommy" everytime I left--and I had to because I was a secondary sponsor and had to walk down the aisle with my man. So after much stressing about how to get her to be the ideal and iconic flower girl, I came up with a plan. For nothing. About 3 seconds before we were all set to walk down the aisle in the real-deal wedding, Ava passed out. It was her nap time and there was no waking her up. She was comatose. So, the three of us walked down the aisle together to a collective giggle from the wedding audience. She was pretty. Looked like sleeping beauty, crown and all. Aiden performed his ring-bearer duties with much seriousness. And, despite his rehearsal-night proclamation of "I can't do it right," he did it perfectly. And was the handsomest boy up there, to boot (Sorry, Reg).

I thought I'd be hysterical on New Year's Eve by wearing the Edward Cullen t-shirt Rad bought me as a quasi-joke (because I swore I'd wear it if he bought it) to the party. And I was. Until one of the aunties brought down a life-sized cardboard cutout of Edward and insisted that I be a good sport and pose with it for pictures. OH H3{} NO!!!!! I actually had to hide behind the couch to avoid being caught for all eternity looking like an obsessed teen fan who was really a 30-something mother on film. In these days of Facebook and YouTube, one can never be too careful...

So, I was just hoping and praying that after last year's debacle of illnesses, we wouldn't get sick this time. Especially with H1N1 and hanging around planes and whatnot. Well, we did just fine until the day before we left when we all started coming down with something. Radley proceeded to act like he was dying from the time we boarded the plane. I suspected he was faking to get out of sitting next to Ava, but it turns out he had a double-ear infection. Ava had a single ear infection, which I got meds for upon braving a winter snow-storm and snow-covered roads to take her to the ER. I have just been taking care of getting everything in order again and went back to work the day after arriving back in Germany. And I believe I now have a double-ear infection. Plan to go to the doc's Monday.

So, now we're back home and it feels like we were gone way more than two weeks. But I think we've beat the jet-lag in less than a week, so that's something. Not to mention all the Christmas decorations are put away. It's always great to catch up with family and friends in person and there's a part of me that will always regret that we don't live closer to them. I was able to have some good heart-to-hearts with some friends that I've needed to connect with for a while. That was well-worth the harrowing transatlantic trips and all that entails. And of course, seeing Reggie and Marisol get married was very exciting and we're so happy for them! That was definitely a can't-miss life moment. We have many, many great memories from such a short time with our family and friends. Yet, I'm happy to be home and back to normal, as that is what I crave most of the time. Just a quiet, simple life where I can enjoy my family and notice the simple pleasures in life. And, dang...I need to get back to running!

Christmas blackmail

Ah...Christmas! Lights, gifts, cheer, festivities, family and friends, and...blackmail. You know you've done it (if you're a parent, uncle, aunt).

Ava: As we're walking through the new "mall" at Ramstein: I want candy!
Me: No, Ava.
Ava: I want candy!!
Me: In warning tone: Ava, do you want Santa Claus to come and bring you presents?
Ava: YEAH, YEAH, PRESENTS!!!!!!!
Me: Then you better be good or Santa Claus won't come and bring you presents.

Ah...Christmas blackmail. May it be joyous while it lasts.

Children

Last night was Halloween, and as is our tradition, we brought Aiden's little German friend, Devin, with us. That, and the fact that I was surrounded by swarms of German and American kids last night, got me reflecting on the differences between German and American kids. Yes, they are quite different in some ways. Disclaimer: neither group of kids is better or worse than the other, but the differences in the children are so striking to me that I feel compelled to explore them.

First thing you'll notice is that German kids call adults by their first name--a shocking and disrespectful thing to many Americans. At the very least, we expect to be called Miss Andrea or Uncle so-and-so. This is something I've gotten used to since my son has started bringing his German friends around and I've been called aunDRAYuh by all his friends. But I still notice it each time because I am so used to my students calling me Miss R.

The other thing you'll notice is the confidence these little 5 year-olds exude. American children, when they encounter an unfamiliar adult are usually reserved and cautious. Not so for a German child. Take Aiden's birthday party, for instance. It was the first time that many of Aiden's friends had met me, and yet...They were appalled that I did not provide ice cream to go with the cupcakes that I'd painstakingly baked and decorated. They kept asking where it was. At one point, one of the children took it upon himself to "help" me by going over and checking out the price of the Sternenland-provided ice cream, stating, "It's only .41 cents." So, I finally took the hint and the kids got their ice cream.

Here's another funny, but typical, contrast. We're standing in line for movie tickets. There are some kids running around the lobby, screaming. They're German. The American parents in line are glaring at the German parents, who are oblivious because this is just what children do, right? Yes, German kids are allowed to run more freely than our American children.

Again, these are stereotypical examples. Not all American children are reserved and respectful, while not all German kids are audacious and confident. These are just general observations I've made over the years and have found that other American friends tend to notice these things, too. One set of kids is not better or worse than the other. As a matter of fact, what may be unusual or disconcerting for one group of adults is normal to the other. And my perspective is the American one...I've not been brave enough to ask a German adult what they think about American kids. It's very interesting how different people can be from the very start, and I think these differences are significant in how we end up as adults viewing and interacting with the world. But in the end, once we're all adults and you strip away the varying viewpoints stemming from very different life experiences, we're all just people who are curious about each other in the end.

Local

Wow. Went to a dance show last night at the gemeindehaus (community center) down the street with two other Reichenbachers and good friends. There were people there competing and watching the dance troupes from several villages around here. Some of the dances were just okay, but others were quite impressive and dramatic, so it was fun to watch. I could've done without the obligatory and cheesy whole-group fest song which required my participation. But that's a German-style party for you! Anyway, I was impressed with the all-around good humor that accompanied the event. Though it could've easily gotten quite competitive (Reichenbach vs. Heimbach or everyone), it didn't because everyone cheered for each dance troupe equally. Even the groups that were mediocre got hoots and whistles, which I found to be very generous of the audience. Everyone was in such a good mood that it was hard to be worried about the fact that I was out waaaaaaaaaaay past my bedtime (it ended at midnight). One of the last dances of the night was a duo of young girls who demonstrated to me just how horrible I was at belly-dancing. My friends and I were laughing about how we'd taken belly dancing classes together and were not that good (hoefte! HOEFTE!!!), sharing inside jokes. So, I felt like I had a place there, but still...

I had another one of those "out of the box" experiences I sometimes have over here. I knew a lot of Reichenbachers there from various places (Aiden's kindergarten teachers, my nanny and her group of girlfriends, the tree cutter, etc.). Everyone always seems very pleased to see me, the American, enjoying the local events. But I sense that people are still very curious about us, as the Americans living in the town, because I notice people watching me.

I assume they're watching to gauge my reaction and see if I'm following what is going on. Or, they're waiting for me to commit some sort of faux pas. I frequently catch them whispering to their companions with their eyes in our direction. I don't sense mean-spiritedness at all. As a matter of fact, the exact opposite. I feel like a minor celebrity when we join "the masses" in our town. But after living here now for 6 years, I'd expect our novelty to have worn off by now!

I guess there really is limited excitement in a small farm town. So, if I want to just be low-key and observe, I really can't do that here. So, with that, and the long history of relationships that I know little about amongst the Reichenbachers that have lived here for generations, I do remain "outside the box" still. But I can put my foot in and shake it all about when I want to.